How Volunteering Changed Me

I hope your Family Day weekend was as restful as mine was. This month Think Tank is really taking off, and the students are exploring their options for volunteering. Check out their blogs to watch their progress. In the meanwhile, we're talking about Volunteering here at Little Mountain.

Volunteering is frankly a strange thing. You're offering your time for free, hopefully for a cause you can care for. There's a certain pressure with the choice: it's your time, and the organization that benefits from you is a reflection of your values. For a long time I had no idea where to volunteer because I didn't know what causes I really cared about. On top of that, I wanted to enjoy myself. Thankfully, I found two organizations that have had a profound impact on me, years later.

The first success story with volunteering that I had was with Big Brothers and Big Sisters. To sign up, you need to give a years' commitment, and then you're matched with a child to spend time with once a week. I was matched with a boy named Meshach, and ours was such a success that we extended the commitment, meeting up regularly for more than two years. Even now, I go out for lunch with his family once or twice a year.

He is now significantly taller than I, and I am significantly more handsome than I used to be.

I gained so much more from that relationship than I had anticipated. It started as a desire to volunteer my time somewhere, anywhere, and what I gained was a long-term friendship, as well as some remarkable insight into the importance of role models. When we started, I tried to impress him by playing sports or going to cool events. After a few months, though, we both realized that we had two awesome things in common: we both loved making cookies and playing video games. So once a week we would do that. He would show me the newer games (Playstation 2), and I would show him the older games (N64), and between taking turns playing, we would check on the oven. It was simple and honest. We were enjoying each others' time, and the effect we had on each other has been subtle but lasting.

The second success story I had was when I was, ironically, pressured into joining a peer support network, named Speakeasy. Our job was to spend 3 hours a week at a very visible desk, and university students could come to vent to us whenever they wanted about whatever they wanted. We were there to listen, and give them resources for more help, if needed. If I hadn't agreed to join, it is not an exaggeration to say that my life would be dramatically different.

The organization taught me the difference between sympathy and empathy. If someone's having a rough time, and you sympathize with them, it is often counter-productive. It's like saying "I feel sorry for you." It doesn't help. Empathy, however, is learning to validate what the other person is feeling. It's like saying "What you're feeling makes sense, that's a totally justified reaction." Giving people your empathy rather than sympathy was a game-changer for me, and has greatly influenced the way I teach.

Of course, I would be remiss to mention the most important part of my volunteering there: I met my wife. We met during training. She didn't like me at all, and I found her charming. After a while, I tricked her into marrying me, and now I've got myself an awesome wife.

See? Much more handsome. She also looks pretty good.

Choosing a place to volunteer can be overwhelming. I've definitely started volunteering at places, and found that the culture did not suit me, so it was short lived. When it sticks, though, volunteering with a cause you love, whether you knew it or not, can have profound impacts on the rest of your life.

So give it a try. Who knows how it will change you.